The Yankees are using torpedoes to hit torpedoes
Happy April Fools’ Day! Famous sports-related pranks include:
- Sports Illustrated publishing a hoax article about Sidd Finch, a pitcher, part yogi, and part recluse who threw 160+ mph.
- Philadelphia Phillies players convincing pitcher Kyle Kendrick that he had been traded to Japan.
- The Bills—in an elaborate yearslong scheme—suffering from back-to-back-to-back-to-back Super Bowl losses. Buffalo fans are still recovering from this one.
––Peter & Kyle
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⚾ Baseball
The Yankees are using torpedoes to hit torpedoes
The 2025 Bronx Bombers are resembling the Murderer’s Row teams of old. The New York Yankees hit an MLB record-tying 15 homers over the weekend––including a team-record nine in one game––en route to a three-game sweep of the Milwaukee Brewers.
It’s just science
At least part of the Yankees offensive onslaught can be attributed to so-called “torpedo bats.” These bats differ in shape from traditional bats, featuring a thicker barrel (sweet spot) before thinning out near the top of the bat—similar to a tall bowling pin on Ozempic.
- The custom-made bats are the creation of a group led by Aaron Leanhardt, an MIT physicist who previously served as a hitting analyst with the Yankees before joining the Marlins as a field coordinator in the offseason.
- The idea? Move the sweet spot to where hitters make the most contact. A study of Yankees shortstop Anthony Volpe's swing data showed he was often hitting the ball near the label of the bat—now, his torpedo bat rewards him more for making contact in that area.
- At least five Yankees players are swinging these new bats, including infielder Jazz Chisholm Jr., who hit 3 HRs this weekend. OF Aaron Judge (4 HRs) is not using one, nor does he plan to.
Is the torpedo bat legal? Yep. According to the MLB rulebook: “The bat shall be a smooth, round stick not more than 2.61 inches in diameter at the thickest part and not more than 42 inches in length.”
Big picture: Players optimizing the hunk of wood they swing is a common occurrence *cough* Ichiro *cough*––many times when players sign deals with bat companies, they undergo a series of tests to discover their optimal weight/length/etc. (as seen in this King of Juco video from Marucci’s Baseball Performance Lab). Torpedo bats aren’t just relegated to the Yankees, either. Other players swinging bats shaped like an aquatic missile include Cubs shortstop Dansby Swanson, Orioles catcher Adley Rutschman, and Mets shortstop Francisco Lindor.
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- Lift the veil on NIL economics
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📰 Catch Up Quick
Headlines
💰 Mater Dei, a Catholic high school sports powerhouse located in Santa Ana, CA, sold its media rights in a 10-year, $10M+ deal; it’s the first singular hs to do so.
⚽ BOS Nation no more: New England’s 2026 NWSL expansion team has a new name—Boston Legacy Football Club.
⚾ Braves OF Jurickson Profar, who joined the team this offseason in a three-year, $42 million deal, was suspended 80 games for using PEDs.
🎰 Robinhood took down its NCAA Tournament prediction markets in NJ after receiving a cease and desist letter from state regulators; Kalshi sued regulators in response.
🏀 Chalk talk: All four #1 seeds (Auburn, Duke, Florida, and Houston) made it to the men’s Final Four for the first time since 2008; on the women’s side, three #1 seeds (Texas, UCLA, South Carolina) and a #2 seed (UConn) will compete for a trophy.
🏒 The Frozen Four is set: It features Boston University and defending national champion Denver (46 combined Frozen Four trips), as well as Western Michigan and Penn State (both schools’ first appearance).
🎾 19-year-old Jakub Menšík upset Novak Djokovic in the Miami Open final to prevent his idol from winning his 100th ATP title; top-ranked Aryna Sabalenka beat Jessica Pegula to hoist the women's trophy.
📸 Snapped
Pics from the Weekend
☹️ One upset this year: Duke isn’t happy with The White Lotus. *Minimal spoilers ahead* At issue: Season 3 (the latest season) of the popular HBO show prominently features a Durham-based family split along Tobacco Road lines (Duke/UNC), with Blue Devil merch seen in multiple episodes––including one in which Jason Isaacs‘ character, the family patriarch, contemplates suicide and holds a gun to his head while wearing a Duke T-shirt. The university says it doesn’t approve of the use or portrayal of its brand in The White Lotus, though analysts say there’s likely no legal recourse.
⛸️ The World Figure Skating Championships concluded this weekend. America won three of the four overall competitions for the first time in history. Alyssa Liu, a 19-year-old phenom who’s fresh off two years of retirement, became the first US woman to win the World Figure Skating Championships in 19 years; Americans Madison Chock and Evan Bates won their third consecutive world title in ice dance; and US star Ilia Malinin continued his 18-month winning streak with a second-straight world title on the men’s side.
🏀 A new college basketball postseason tourney is offering $500k in NIL payments. The College Basketball Crown, a new 16-team single elimination tournament in Las Vegas, features an NIL prize pool for teams that make the final four, with most of the money awarded to the winner ($300k). The inaugural edition of the tournament, which tipped off yesterday, features programs that didn’t qualify for March Madness and aren’t participating in the NIT, including Arizona State, Georgetown, USC, Utah, Washington State, and Villanova.
👀 Must See
Top Plays
😲 Half-court buzzer beater caps insane Bulls-Lakers finish
⚾ Dansby Swanson’s heads-up play at short wins the game
🏀 Walter Clayton Jr. sinks huge go-ahead three for Florida
🥅 Luke Evangelista jukes goalie out of his skates
🎪 Kel'el Ware hits unbelievable circus shot
🔢 Facts & Figures
By the numbers
Here are five stats from this past week that made our team say “whoa.” Hopefully you will, too.
- ⚾ Orioles OF Tyler O’Neill hit a home run on Opening Day for a sixth consecutive year, extending his all-time MLB record.
- ‼️ Sunday’s Pistons-Timberwolves matchup featured 12 technical fouls, the most in an NBA game since 2005; a majority were assessed following a 2nd-quarter brawl that resulted in seven ejections.
- 🃏 A Caitlin Clark rookie card sold at auction for $366k on Saturday, making it the most expensive female sports card ever; overall, the 30 priciest WNBA cards ever sold are all of Clark.
- 💥 Braves OF Jurickson Profar fouled off 15 two-strike pitches while going 1-5 against the Padres last week, marking the most in a single game since 2019.
- 🏀 The Cleveland Cavaliers won 60+ games for the 3rd time in franchise history (53 seasons), and the first time ever without LeBron James.
🌐 Web Gems
Cool things to click
💔 It’s not you, it’s me: Seattle Mariners Platinum Glove-winning catcher Cal Raleigh, aka the Big Dumper, apparently has a new side hustle.
😬 Welp: A Bulgarian soccer club issued an apology after holding a minute of silence for an ex-player who is still alive.
📖 Explore: From Tiger to Jordan—The 49 greatest ESPN The Magazine stories.
🚀 Stronger together: Want to be part of the most well-informed CrossFit community on the internet? Sign up for the Morning Chalk Up newsletter and get access to expert analysis, breaking news, and exclusive interviews 5x/week.*
🤔 Trivia
Toiling away in football obscurity
The United Football League’s (UFL) second season kicked off this past Friday. Can you name three of the eight teams in the league?
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🤔 Answer
Birmingham Stallions; Michigan Panthers; Memphis Showboats; DC Defenders; Houston Roughnecks; Arlington Renegades; San Antonio Brahmas; St. Louis Battlehawks.
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